Sweet Sweet Caffiene

11 Jan

This morning I was feeling a little sluggish not wanting to go make a living.  Isn’t there a way to get paid, but not actually go to work?  A girl can only dream.

Since I don’t have a money tree growing in the backyard I decided the only way to wake my sleepy butt up was to break in the espresso contraption I bought the other day.

Hi there little guy.

He may look sweet and innocent, but little do you know the power it has to make you completely spaz out.

So here’s how to make an addicting cup of joy:

First, take the little homie apart.  He’s swimmin’ with the fishes now.  That’s my gangster phrase that I have been dying to use.

The bottom container was filled up to the little bolt.  If you fill it up any more an over flow will surely be in your future.

 Let’s get some espresso in there now.  Fill the little funnel looking thing up with the strongest espresso you can find.  I’m talking slap yo’ mama strong.  You don’t have to pack it down.  Make sure to make a mess on your counter in the process.

Let the espresso part reunite with its other bottom half.  Give them a moment to bond and reminisce of past memories.

Screw the top back on and get ready for a party.

Now, turn on your stove top.  Big gas stoves with a large unsafe flames are recommended.  Make sure your hand gets real close to the heat for optimum results.

Give the little guy a chance to get all warm and cozy.  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get all excited over the sweet bubbling sound and open the lid pre-maturely.  You will surely cause an explosion of hot espresso to be sprayed not only on you, but also all over your stove.  If this does happen, just deny having anything to do with it.

Hopefully not all was lost and there is still espresso ready to drink.

Finally, make sure you are busy trying to get the perfect “pour” shot and spill some more hot espresso on you.

Make sure that after you drink this caffeine nectar of the gods you are ready for the consequences.  You most likely will look like this afterwards.

Warning: It’s not pretty.


12 Responses to “Sweet Sweet Caffiene”

  1. andrew January 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm #

    Yes. Yessss to everything.

  2. Michelle January 11, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

    I love reading your blog!! And yes….writing them is sooooo fun!!! Sometimes I feel like…..i can’t blog enough!!!! lol Look forward to many more!!!

  3. MS3 January 11, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

    ok..I just posted a comment and Michelle’s name came up! lol Either way that was me…MEL 🙂 hahahaha

    • forevervintageblog January 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

      I’m a fan of your blog too girlie. I’m so happy that there is another blog obsessed weirdo out there like me. Yay!

  4. Leyla January 11, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

    I need to get one of those!

  5. Patricia Fogt January 11, 2012 at 8:51 pm #

    Hahahahaha … too funny Mariam :)))))

  6. The Nate Gatsby January 12, 2012 at 5:04 am #

    I think this might blow your mind, but I’ve never had a cup of coffee or tea in my life. haha

  7. doublebhomestead January 12, 2012 at 8:33 am #

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I read through some of your blog today, quite humorous. Looks like you are full of sarcastic wit! ( notice I did say wit ) And I mean that in a good way. Thanks again

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: